Stickers, Dicks, & Ricers

Cars, everyone loves cars. They come in all shapes and sizes too, just like dicks, and everyone loves dicks too. Now, a lot of people love to mod their cars, but sometimes it's just way too fucking overdone or shitty. People like to "mod" their dicks too, so-to-speak. We have Viagra, penis-pumps, and all that other shit too. Then there's the piercings and other hardcore shit as well, but how far is too far? We'll see.

First off, let's take a look at a simple car "mod," stickers. Everyone loves to put stickers all over the place because they think it's so badass, especially those bullet hole stickers. If you're driving a shot-up car, you either live in some fucked up terrorist-ridden country, or in some shitty ghetto ass hood. If you live in a white neighborhood, and you have bullet holes on your car, you're a faggot. If your bullet holes are stickers, you deserve to be shot. Here, let me give you guys a visual of what I mean by that:

If your car looks like this:

Then it should end up looking like this:


It's like saying, "Hey, come shoot up my ride so it can look like this for real!" You put bullet holes on your car because you obviously wanted it to look "shot-up," so when it does get shot-up for real, you better not be disappointed. It's like putting bullet hole stickers on your dick; do you really want your dick to look shot-up? I don't. First off it's retarded in both cases, and second off, you're just itching to get shot. Have fun.

Besides the bullet hole stickers, we have an even more common abomination, bumper stickers. They're the like useless ads you find on websites, the waste-of-space little shits that get in your face, but in the end you don't even bother because you don't give a shit. They're flat out annoying and no one gives a shit what your thoughts are, so don't fucking waste your time putting a bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love music," because I don't give a shit. We also have the common, "baby on board" bumper stickers. Seriously, is it like, "Oh shit, he's got a baby on board, I'm going to try extra hard not to get in an accident with him just because of that sticker." Fuck that. What's worse is those fuckers with a barrage of bumper stickers on their car. As if one isn't enough, they have to put their whole life story on the back of their car. No one gives a shit. You should just remove all of them and put one that says, "I'm a faggot, crash me," because that's what I think of when I see that shit on your car.

If your car looks like this, kill yourself.


Lastly, we have the ricers. Ricers are "any oriental import car that has been modified for no real performance gain." In other words, that shit does not belong on your car. Hey, not all ricers look bad, some are pretty nice, but some people just over fucking do it, and those are the ones I'm ranting about. Ricers are most common within the Asian community, because Asians think it's fucking gangster to have a five foot high spoiler on their car. That shit does not make your car any more aerodynamic, hell, it just adds weight to your car, especially if your shit looks like this:



Hey, this one actually looks pretty good...

...if you want your car to look like a fucking Hot Wheels toy.